Are you happy? Everyone says that all they want is to “be happy”, but do you know how to be happy? Do you know what happiness looks like; what it feels like?
It seems easy to come up with all the reasons for not being happy. Thoughts and beliefs about not being happy all begin with the words I don’t have. Do you catch yourself saying “I don’t have…enough money, love, respect, a job I like, a healthy, fit body, the home I want, a significant other or a ‘good’ relationship, children, friends, freedom, security,” and so on?
Are you caught up in thinking that only when you have all the things you’ve lamented over in your “I don’t have” list you’ll be happy?
Happiness has been defined as wanting what you already have, not having what you want.
Begin by defining what “happy” means to you. Notice how you truly feel while you’re interacting with other people or working, running errands, etc. Are you doing things or spending time with people that exhaust, frustrate, or deplete you? And ask yourself if you’re doing things with a joyful and loving heart, or do you feel put upon and resentful, feeling that you’re making sacrifices; essentially being a martyr? Are you looking to others to stroke your ego and tell you how great you are for all that you do? If so, it may be time for you to take a good long look at yourself and at the real reasons behind why you do what you’re doing.
Knowing exactly what you want your life to look like; actually writing down how you want your days to begin, how you want to live, work, and play, and detailing your overall ‘wants’ in this life is clarifying and empowering. Make it a point to do something that brings you joy as you begin each day. Whether it’s a quiet cup of tea, a morning run, a great breakfast, stretching, hugging or whatever you know feeds your soul, it will set the stage for the rest of your day.
Being honest with yourself about what you want your life to look like and then living it, together with truly seeing, feeling, breathing in, and loving what you already have, will shift any perception of lack or of being unfulfilled. Rather than seeing happiness as something you strive for, it instead becomes your natural state of being.
Carina Bachman / CrystalSpringsHealing.com