Do Your Shoes Fit?

When was the last time you heard about something that was going on with someone else and had any judgment about them or their situation?

We’ve all heard the phrase “you should never judge a man until you’ve walked a mile in his shoes,” but how many of us truly take it to heart? Being uncomfortable with the knowledge that someone else may have an illness or other troubles may not only leave you wondering what to do and how to respond, but just the mere fact of acknowledging that something painful or tragic can happen for someone else can bring it too close to home, perhaps leaving you thinking, “What if it happens to ME?” That fear can be paralyzing, leading to burying your head in the sand with the “If I can’t or won’t see it, it doesn’t exist” way of thinking, and may even include dropping out of that person’s life to avoid seeing and feeling any pain. Or, as often happens, you may stay involved with that person but be inclined to jump to thoughts of, “Well, if it was ME, I would or wouldn’t do this or that,” a thought that is merely designed to keep you living in the illusion of control and safety.

When something is happening in someone else’s life, it is not just about opening that person’s eyes to many things around and inside them; it is also a gift to others with regards to how they feel and respond. If there is judgment for another and their choices of how to heal, eat, dress, speak, eat, choose a partner, etc., where does that same judgment lie within you for yourself? Without compassion for yourself you cannot have it fully for others, nor will you know how to receive it from others for yourself.  

Compassion means loving a person despite the darkness and suffering they are enduring, not because of it.

Becoming compassionate isn’t about giving up who you are in order to suffer with someone else. Rather, it is having the insight to see that someone is hurting even at the most subtle level and embracing them just the way they are; pain and all. It’s offering a helping hand, not an enabling crutch of support. We must allow each person the room to learn and ponder and struggle with their own situations, and yet provide them with knowledge that they are not alone, that people care about them and that they will survive no matter how difficult the situation may seem.

Remaining objective is a critical component of compassion. If you find yourself getting caught up in another person’s drama, you take on the energy of their story, effectively blocking your ability to be compassionate. Many of the situations we encounter through life feel like unchartered territory. Seeing a person through their eyes is one of the best ways to understand and practice compassion. Whether you are engaging with a person begging on the street or an ego-filled neighbor who thinks he knows everything, recognizing yourself in their situation and thus spiritually and energetically connecting with them moves you out of judgment and into compassion. As the feeling of compassion builds within you, your connection to their spirit begins to flow, and love and caring moves through you to the other person on a stream of white light energy or telepathic thoughts.

Compassion is truly connecting with each person and knowing they are on the same challenging, joyous and amazing journey each of us is undertaking. The point of compassion isn’t to feel “bad” for someone or try to solve their problems and take away the pain. The point of compassion is to take the time to understand and see a person with your heart. Not your eyes. See them as divine spirit sees them. Their journey is just that ~ their journey. We cannot and should not try to abort any ones journey; they have lessons and gifts awaiting that must come from them walking their own walk. We can, however, provide comfort, peace and love along the way to give them strength and courage to help take one step at a time as they travel their own way.

This way, we all wear shoes that fit. 

Copyright © 2014 Carina Bachman /

Energy Healingphoto: unsplash-Paul Gilmore